Dating a motorsport commentator? Here’s everything you need to know.

So it’s the motorsport off-season and you’ve finally managed to nail down that special motor-racing announcer you’ve been chasing all year, and convinced him to take you on a date.

It feels like it’s going well and might lead to something… but before you commit to anything too serious, there are some things you need to be aware of:

1. We work a lot of weekends…. and when I say a lot, I mean it! The standard workload for a motorsport commentator is 20 to 30 weekends a year, so if you’re expecting to spend quality time with us on Saturdays and Sundays, forget it. Get used to weeknight romance instead. Of course, if listening to our voice on TV or over a racetrack PA system turns you on, then this a compromise that’s probably worthwhile.

2. We encapsulate all of the nerdy aspects of car racing, while not actively participating in the coolest aspect. We can chew your ear off with statistics and information on every motorsport category known to mankind, and engage in intelligent, in-depth conversations on any topic relating to cars, drivers, teams, categories, regulations or strategy. But throw us the keys to a race car and most of us wouldn’t have a clue what we’re doing.

3. …but we still get to do plenty of cool stuff. If the idea of rubbing shoulders with high-profile drivers at race meetings, or hitting a celebrity-studded dance floor at end-of-season gala dinners floats your boat, then dating a motorsport commentator might just be your ticket to glitz and glamour.

4. We’re not racing drivers but we’re still competitive. We’re working in an environment with a limited number of opportunities and we’re always striving for perfection. This can make us quite highly-strung and intense to be around, especially on race weekends!

5. We’re high-maintenance. Following on from the point above, we can become quite self-conscious. Sometimes we have to appear on camera, and we want to look and sound perfect. This means we ask those close to us for constructive criticism. We won’t be happy if you tell us we look and sound amazing, we will want you to suggest areas of improvement.

6. Contrary to popular belief, we’re not rich. We love what we do and we’re happy to make enough money from this to live comfortably, but not lavishly. So if we take you on a really top-notch, extravagant date, it means we’ve worked hard and saved specially for that occasion.

7. We can be expected to use commentary references for everyday occurrences. So if the traffic is bad, you can expect us to describe it as “pandemonium” and if you have to use a step-ladder to reach something, we’ll probably note that you’re operating at a high level.

8. We party hard, but not often. It’s a job that can be very mentally demanding, which doesn’t leave a lot of energy for going out… but when we do have the chance to let our hair down, we make the most of it.

9. We’re loyal when we date someone who’s genuinely interested in us. We’re well aware we’re not the easiest people to have a relationship with, so when we find someone who loves and appreciates us for who we are, that person will occupy a very special place in our heart.